People who know me, know that I hate the color pink. I don’t really know why I hate pink…Maybe because I want it to have more personality. To me, it is a washed out, de-saturated red. I want it to have a stronger identity. That is not to say that I like red either. It’s just that I hate red less than I hate pink. I do own and very occasionally wear a couple of pink shirts. One is a the Kenyon College physics department t-shirt from the year when female physics majors were in the majority.  As my alma mater, it has sentimental value even though the shirt is not from my graduation year. The other is a pink button-down, shirt with little pink and purple flowers (patterns, especially little flowers, are another thing that you will not generally find on my clothes). I wear this shirt because it is so incredible comfortable on a hot day that I can avoid looking at myself in order to be comfortable.

So you might ask, why do I own clothes that I hate? That’s a good question! It turns out pink is not the only thing that I don’t like that I continue to engage with. I also don’t like carrots or the meat of the apple (I prefer the skin). I eat both on a regular basis. I also do things I’m terrified of or not really good at like acting (terrified) and sports (not good at). So I think the question is not why I continue to wear pink, but rather why do I do things that I don’t like or am not good at? Why do I push myself to try new things that I am not sure I am good at or that I am not sure I will like? Why do I challenge myself? I would say that it comes down to the ideas of change and growth. I want to believe that I can change. I wonder what I don’t know about myself and what I can learn by trying something new. Here is an example…

I remember that as a kid, that I didn’t like asparagus, which surprises me since I adored Brussels sprouts even as a young child. In general I love green vegetables, especially if they are leafy! However, for some reason I didn’t like asparagus. Periodically, I would buy it and cook it or it with come with something I ordered at a restaurant. I would try it and if I didn’t like it, I would push it aside. At some point as an adult, I determined that I liked asparagus! Not just liked, but LOVED it! (Not as much as Brussels sprouts, but close!!!) If I had never eaten asparagus again, then I would have never given myself the opportunity to change. If I had just said, “Well, I guess I am just a person who doesn’t like asparagus,” then I would never have given myself the opportunity to discover a new love. So I continue to wear colors I hate, eat things I don’t like, talk to people I don’t know, listen to people I disagree with, and try things I don’t know that I will succeed at in the hopes of change, growth, and/or discovery. As my mom taught me, never don’t do something because you are afraid. Don’t do it because you have decided not to do it for a particular reason.

So maybe rather than questioning why I wear pink, applaud me for challenging myself. Encourage me as I create an opportunity to change. After all, who knows. Maybe I will at least come to appreciate pink as a legitimate color in its own right or even come to like it!

[Please note that I bear no ill will for anyone who loves the color pink. That is their personal choice and I support their ability and right to make that choice!]